Chapter 27

At seven-o- clock the task force assembled in the conference room. The detectives ranged in age, colour and size, being five male and three female. The communications experts, forensics and other special protection officers were there also, learning of the progress of the case to date. The media were not aware of the meeting, nor did they know the course of the investigation.

Cliff stepped to the head of the conference table and addressed the meeting.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I want to thank each of you for putting aside your personal family commitments and becoming part of this task force. Your speed in up rooting yourselves from your families, to attend here today, is highly commendable. It shows me that you live out the professionalism your superiors believe you possess. This evening I want to loosely indicate the reason you are here, then deal with the specifics.

First though, it is necessary for us to get to know each other on a more personal basis. To do this I would like each of you to pair up for twenty minutes and ask each other some questions. I want to know such things as why you joined the police force and how you feel about the progress you have made. I want to know of any general criticisms in the way we administer law, and one thing, a better method, that you’d like to introduce in your work. I want to know if you’re married, or single. I’d appreciate knowing your aspirations and goals in life. Each of you can interview your partner and in 20 minutes time we’ll assembled back here together. I want partners to introduce their respective partner to us, based on the information gained. Every person here is involved in a case for the police force, so if your profession isn’t technically that of a police officer, you can still share why you do what you do."

The groups broke off for twenty minutes. There were periods of seriousness, and concentration, punctuated by some spontaneous laughter. It wasn’t long before the time was up and the officers began getting to their feet and introducing their partner.

After everyone had spoken, Cliff rose to his feet and again addressed the gathering. "It’s amazing to see the similarities between all of you. I called on some heavy weights to select you. I admire your choice to be present today. Now the reason for the choice has become a little more apparent. Each of you knows only too well the failings of our justice system. Each of you is frustrated from time to time. You all have a desire to be honest and to treat all Australians as equals. I hope that after our little introduction, you realise that everyone is of like mind here. Now that we know a little about each other, let me open your files and share with the rest of the room the criteria we thought essential, when we asked for your services.

I asked for a task force beyond reproach. I wanted officers who were honest to the core. I wanted police who believe that a person is guilty if he commits a crime, no matter what his social standing. In particular, I wanted police who had preferably put fellow officers in jail. Out of you eight detectives present all eight of you have that similarity. Collectively, in this room, we, as a team, put twenty-six police behind bars, as well as six lawyers, one judge, one mayor, fifteen politicians and thirty public service workers. All of these are people we rely on for the administration of justice and safety in our country. You notice we had to pull you i. Detectives like you, who believe in proper justice, and are clean, are hard to find. You may notice we had to pull you in from all over Australia. Now that we know each other’s backgrounds, I trust respect will unite us as a powerful team. I must warn you, your lives may be threatened and the enemy may try and set each of us against the other. I want you to have fair warning. I’ll even go as far as letting each of you read each other’s personal files if I feel it’s needed. It is of the utmost importance that everyone here begins to treat each other with the love, respect and integrity found in families.

The case we’re investigating now has major ramifications. It could be as far reaching as overseas, an area sadly out of our jurisdiction. We have federal funding and an open chequebook for expenses. The case originated as a spin off from the China Town murder. Is everyone aware of the Murder?" Cliff surveyed the responses. "Good. We have clear evidence, beyond any doubt, that the person responsible for the murder is none other then Mr Michael Turner, a Supreme Court Judge. Interestingly enough, he was the judge that tried a major paedophilia case here in Sydney some years ago. A case where there was no conviction."

As Cliff looked around the room, faces were starting to register the enormity of the situation.

"Warrants were issued early this morning and our communication boys have told us that every phone number listed in the personal address book of the King’s Cross Police Chief has been tapped, as well as his own personal number. Another person in custody is a Head Physician at the Royal Alexander Hospital. Phone taps are also in place.

Currently four witnesses have died, following the statement of a local street kid as recorded on video and the taping of a conversation between the two suspects, Michael Turner and Terry Watson in the cell they occupied. Let me begin by playing this video for you."

Cliff put the video in. He switched off the lights and pressed play. Then he left the room. He allowed himself a smile, congratulating himself, and wandered around the station to fill in a little time. He thought about the case’s remarkable start with Christine disturbing his lunch. Remembering Christine he thought he should contact her as he had had little time to ring earlier.

"Hi! Christine speaking. " Her cheerful voice answered the phone.

"Hi Christine. This is Cliff, How are you?"

"I’m okay. It’s refreshing to have time off. I forgot what it was. Nathaniel is so happy. Though the next few days may get a little crazy with Sharon coming over to withdraw."

"Tell me more about this Sharon. I didn’t have the time to ask you before."

"Oh. She is a prostitute from the Cross. I had some contact with her. She picked up a street kid and took him into her house. His name’s Tony. He’s your witness. This morning her best friend died of an overdose, and she, Sharon tried to commit suicide. Luckily Dave, a friend of mine, found her in time and got her to hospital. She needs somewhere to come through it all, so Dave rang me. Nathaniel and I agreed that she should stay here, so Dave’s bringing her over tonight."

"Well I must say Christine, you’re constantly surprising me. It’s great to hear news like that, and it’s good to see you’re involved on both sides of the story in the Cross." "Thanks Cliff. It does my heart good to hear that people believe in me. It can get tough at times. I often don’t know if I’m really making any difference."

"Did you say we had an overdose reported this afternoon?"

"Yes, that’s right. The detectives interviewed Sharon and my husband Nathaniel."

"That’s interesting. I’m filling in for your chief today and I heard about a working girl overdosing. This was a friend of Sharon’s you say, the same Sharon that’s looking after Tony?"

"Yes that’s right."

"That seems mighty co-incidental. I’ll get a detective onto it. It’s a little too close to our investigation for my liking. I may try to interview Sharon in the next few days, if that’s okay. Meanwhile, what was her address?" He waited silently as Christine retrieved it and gave it to him. "Thanks for the chat. Promise me you’ll take it easy now!"

"I’ll try " Christine said, knowing as she said it that the probability of taking it easy over the next few days was next to impossible. "Thanks for your phone call Cliff. Thanks also for the encouragement. It means a lot."

"The pleasure’s all mine. It’s good to talk to you. I’ll try and catch up with you, on, say Thursday. See you later." He received a "Bye" from Christine, hung up the phone, and returned to the conference room.

As he entered, he saw the video tape catch Michael bursting into Christine’s office accompanying the Chief. The camera had caught the expression on his face when he saw Slater on the floor and Colin still alive. The expression changed markedly as he recognised Colin and looked directly into the camera’s lens. The detective’s assembled recognised that look. They needed nothing more to convince them they had the right man locked up.

Shortly after the video had finished, Cliff played the tape that had been recorded in the cell and briefed them on their findings. Before the end of the night, detectives knew what they were up against. They all knew the seriousness of the crimes, the importance of the figures, and the chance they all had to clean up some of the country’s dishonest professionals.

*******

Tracy returned to Joanne’s apartment. She’d got up early and gone to the beach to have some time to herself. It had been a good day, a time of relaxation, and a time to reflect. She’d come away from the beach, thinking of Tony and what he meant to her. She was glad that she had had this time to herself, glad that Tony hadn’t been with her. As she approached the apartment’s door she was shocked to see it partitioned off.

A police officer beckoned her. He asked who she was, and what she was doing here. He asked why she had a key. He asked her how she knew Joanne, and how long she’d known her. He asked if she’d ever seen Jo’s clients. Finally he asked if she knew of anyone that had a grudge against Joanne and would want to kill her. On hearing this question, Tracy’s eyes opened wide and filled with tears, as it dawned on her why the police were in the apartment.

Joanne, lovely Joanne was dead. Her friend, the girl who had taken her in, her hope, her future. She swallowed back the tears, and answered the police in short sentences, trying to focus on what they were saying. Her throat ached, her mind swam, and her soul sank, down and down. Her hope, a passenger, dropped in an elevator rapidly descending, but it wasn’t stopping, floor by floor rushed past, down and down it rushed toward destruction. No thought, no action could slow the descent. A dark cloud had descended over her.

‘Give up’ a voice said. ‘No one loves you, you’re a burden on everyone. Joanne didn’t really care. She’s left you. Go back to the streets, where you belong. Don’t burden Tony with your pleas. Don’t bother him, he can’t help you. Sharon can’t help either. There is no room in her apartment. She loves Tony. She only likes you because you’re Tony’s girl. What do you expect her to do? he hasn’t room for you.’

Tracy left the apartment. As she did so the cloud enveloped her. She suddenly felt like killing herself. An overwhelming desire came over her. She tried to fight it, yet, as tears streamed down her face; she couldn’t find the strength to fight the voice in her head. ‘ Go on, kill yourself. It’s the best way for everyone. Tony will get over you. Write him a note. Tell him you love him, and because of this love you don’t want to be a burden. Go on and write the letter ’

Tracy tried hard to combat the voice. She had heard a voice like this before, yet never this intense. Cries turned into sobs. She walked on in a clouded canopy of grief, intent now on destruction.

Within thirty minutes Tracy had caught a train to Circular Quay. Her heart was torn apart, yet her mind focused on her mission. She began walking up through the Rocks, a little shopping centre close to the Harbour, and onto the Bridge. As she walked across the bridge, a lump formed in her throat. Her eyes filled with tears, her insides were bursting in sorrow. This was life, and yet, as she walked, she could see no reason, besides Tony, to go on with it. Tony was a nice enough guy; he would get over her. It was a shame, yet this would be for the best.

As she walked her life flashed in sequences before her. She saw her father playing with her in the backyard when she was little. She was just learning to kick a ball. Her mother was lying by the pool relaxed, watching. Laughter rang out from her tiny lungs. She was dad’s little girl. Another image flashed up, this time it was the day she was waving goodbye to both her parents, her first day at school. As she remembered, she felt the mixed emotions of that day. She felt so grown up going to school, but so scared as she left the two people she loved most in the whole world. Many happy memories flashed up before the sad ones started to appear.

She saw her father molesting her, she heard her cry, and saw the blood from the experience. Something broke inside her that day, and like Humpty Dumpty she could never be put together again. Then, swept away by the memory and the pain, Tracy climbed up onto the side of the bridge. No more, no more, she said to her memory. She stood silently on the side of the bridge and took a last look at the Harbour.

It looked magnificent, but she didn’t allow its beauty to affect her, instead a boat took her interest. It was sailing in from the heads, with a mass of gulls following. They hovered in the boats wake, from time to time darting into the water after something a fisherman threw in. As it came near the bridge she saw one of the seagulls leave the boat. It flew up towards her.

She watched it do a somersault and twist here and there, putting on a show. It came quite close to her, hovering and looking directly at her. It squawked at her, making a funny sound then went into a dive, down and down until it almost hit the water. It turned came back and squawked again, as if to say.‘ Are you going to do that hey?’

In response, she did.

*******

After a while at the beach, Tony, Sharon and Dave returned to Sharon’s apartment. When they arrived, Tony found a note on the front doorstep, addressed to him. Being first up to the door, with the other two love birds lagging behind, he ripped the letter open and began to read.

Dear Tony.

I have found out that Joanne has killed herself. I don’t know what caused it. I do know that, it leaves me with no place to live. Sharon loves you, you’re okay. I know Sharon hasn’t got enough room to have me stay there too. I don’t want to be a burden to you and honestly, I’ve just had enough. I love you, and because of this, I’m going to leave you. I have a feeling that even though you love me; I won’t be the little Christian girl you will probably want me to be. So I’m going to jump off the Harbour Bridge. I hope you find what you’re looking for.

Love always, Tracy.

By the time Tony had read it half through, Dave and Sharon had opened the door and were laughing inside about something. Tony looked at them, dropped the letter on the floor and ran from the apartment. It couldn’t be. Not after today. He ran and ran as if his lungs would soon burst. His heart thumped, pushing harder to supply the oxygen to his whole body. Tears ran down his face and a scream passed his lips as he ran. In two minutes he was hailing a cab. With a heaving chest he waited impatiently for the cab to get to the Rocks.

He climbed onto the bridge and, in fear, he saw a small group of people peering over the side, about half way along. One person was walking back towards him. The man muttered as he passed "I saw her. She just climbed up and jumped off. She jumped off!"

When he arrived he reeled with a long forgotten terror. The indescribable agony of loss. Her battered body lay on a stretcher. He heard himself screaming.

As he tried to break through the group of emergency crew, a man restrained him. He pushed and shoved and struggled. The man shouted at him, warning him, but he couldn’t hear. The scene before him blurred, his vision clouded, his ears just heard loud sounds, yet couldn’t discern the warnings as voices. Totally out of his mind he floated, as though he was stoned. It just couldn’t be.

A man’s face came close to his. A push sent him backwards; a growl came from the man who pushed him. The sound of traffic and the nearby voices combined as a blur, and in a daze he wandered aimlessly off the bridge. A dark cloud descended upon him, and his mind started thinking some very dangerous thoughts. Suicide was upon him.

Tony thought about it and shouted to God with his fists in the air. "Why should I live God?" At this the cloud left him and hovered in the distance.

A thought came to his mind. ‘Because I love you Tony’

‘It’s not fair. " Why did she have to die?" he said, as his emotions took over him and he began to cry. This time an answer didn’t come back immediately. Tony sat on a ledge and cried. He couldn’t understand death, pain and suffering. Why do people have to suffer? He was tired yet he forced his mind to think. He’d lost his family at a young age. He’d lost Joanne, and now Tracy, two people very close to him. The day when he thought everything had been going so well had become the second worst day of his life.

Feeling the vulnerability surrounding Tony, the cloud descended again onto his shoulders. ‘That’s right Tony. God sucks. He’s to blame. All he wants to do with you is hurt you. Look! Open your eyes to the real world boy. Don’t get carried away with all this religious stuff. It’s crap. Look at Sharon the blubbering idiot. Thinks she met Jesus. Ha! Baloney. It’s a figment of her imagination.’

Tony pushed the thought aside to think for himself. Maybe it was all crap. Maybe this Christian bit was just a facade. A non-reality. Setting yourself up to be hurt. Maybe Sharon was having a delusion or something.

‘Where was the evidence of her attempted suicide,’ a strange voice come into his head.’ Could you see the marks on her arm where she cut herself Tony? I healed them. I took the evidence away. You saw that. You know me Tony. I love you.’

Tony's mind continued to reason. That's right, he thought. Her arms showed no track marks or the cuts he'd seen create all the blood. The dressings were off. I can't question that.

Tony's mind continued to reason. That's right, he thought. Her arms showed no track marks or the cuts he'd seen create all the blood. The dressings were off. I can't question that.

The voice continued. 'And remember her glowing. You weren't dreaming when you saw that. She shone like a light.'

He struggled with these new thoughts and their meaning. He couldn't rationally explain both of those occurrences. As he pondered on this, the positive voice continued. 'How do you explain that Tony? I made that sign so you would believe. I did it for you and I did it for Sharon. I love you, you must know that.'

"So why did you let Tracy kill herself?" He spoke aloud. Didn't you love her? Wasn't she important to you?"

He paused as the voice within continued. "Tracy took her own life Tony. I had repeatedly asked her to trust me. Each time she rejected me.

Joanne's death triggered it, as well as her love for you. I didn't kill her. She made the choice. Of course I loved her Tony. I even had you ask her, just so that you'd know that she'd rejected me. You remember don't you?

Tony was silent. He remembered all right. She had thought her refusal to go to church was the reason that he'd asked her to leave. Yet this wasn't true. He remembered feeling sad and wondering as he spent the afternoon alone, whether she'd ever believe like him. He'd dismissed the thought, yet God seemed to be answering it now. Still, he was deeply hurt. He was angry with God. Why couldn't he save her? He was God after all. Was one little girl beyond Him? Couldn't He bloody help?

She experienced a father's dirty hands, mouth and penis. Where was God then? Wasn't he looking as her father ripped her apart? Didn't he care? Why did He let it happen? Isn't He God? Couldn't He save her? Couldn't He help her? Why did she have to die? She was special to him. Why? He looked down at the gravel under his feet and kicked it in temper.

'That's right cry' a voice started in his head. He tried to push it out, but it refused and went on. He tried to block it out. But it wouldn't go. It persisted. Tony didn't want anyone speaking to him. He bashed his head with his fists and said, " Shut up."

But it continued, once again. ‘That’s right cry. That’s all humans ever do. Ever since that God of yours created the universe, people have been crying. He doesn’t care. He just doesn’t care. You watch. Look at the laughing stock Sharon will be when she tries to give up the prostitution and heroin. Stupid bitch. You can’t give up heroin. She’s a slut. She loves men sticking it to her. What a joke? She’ll be back on the streets shooting up and worse, when she returns. And after God has had a big laugh, do you honestly think she’ll hang around to look after you? Why, you’re not important enough. She didn’t even think about you when she tried to take her life!’

Tony couldn’t disagree. The voice had a point. Sharon hadn’t considered him when she’d pulled the pin. She didn’t care enough for his well being. And it was true, once a junkie always a junkie. He knew they were liars. They couldn’t be trusted. Why the first chance she’d got she had let him down.

‘What’s this God going to do to stop the stupid girl from trying to kill herself the next time things get rough. God doesn’t care.’

God was silent. It didn’t surprise him.

‘No one cares for me,’ he thought. That's all I'm good for. A bloody punching bag. I deserve it. I’m hopeless, and everywhere I go there is trouble.

‘You got that right Tony,’ the voice in the cloud chipped in. ‘You always cause trouble. It’s you. That’s Gods way you know. Some are lucky; they’re his favourites. Some just have shit lives like you. You can’t change it. It’s your lot in life. Just beat him to it. Kill yourself .He can’t hurt you anymore then. And you’ll save everyone the hassle. Go and join Tracy. She’s waiting for you. Just like running bear in that song you like. His girlfriend Little White Dove drowned, trying to swim to him. So he did the only loving thing he could do. He gave up the struggle and joined her in death, so that he could join her in the after life. If God cares like he says he does, she’ll be in heaven, and if you pull the pin, you can join her now. How romantic.’

Once again Tony could see the logic. He felt a battle going on in his mind. Pain seared though his skull. A friction of voices burnt his brain. They fought inside his soul and he became weak. There was shouting, and what felt like tremendous pressure in his brain. In desperation he cried "Jesus save me."

The friction continued for a couple of seconds and then Tony became sick. He vomited on the ground and as the vomit splashed, he noticed it transform into a cloud that speedily left him. His body felt a peace wash over him again, his thoughts of Sharon returned to love. He couldn’t describe the feeling, except to say it was wonderful. He still had plenty of questions for God, yet somehow he felt happy to leave them alone. He understood how people could be sceptical about God, though realised God didn’t always choose to stop certain things from happening. He was happy and at peace and sure now that Sharon had made the right decision, just as he had this morning. He knew that people always had to blame someone for failures and hurts in life, but today resolved to let the matters be.

It was two hours later when he returned to Sharon’s apartment. When Sharon saw him she ran to him and embraced him. No words. Just silence. And in the silence life fought for it’s right to continue.